The Telling by Zoe Zolbrod

Author:Zoe Zolbrod
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781940430799
Publisher: Curbside Splendor Publishing
Published: 2016-03-27T16:00:00+00:00

WHAT MIGHT HAVE happened if I had cried?

ONE NIGHT I had a convoluted dream in which a young adult me was staying with some very young children in a compound owned by a family member who I knew to be a pedophile. I cried with relief when a maternal figure pulled me aside to tell me she had given the man some pills to kill his libido, because on my own I had not found a solution to the problem. I had not been able to take a bold action.

MAYBE I SHOULD be glad my children both cry so easily. It’s difficult to conceive of my son suffering silently through anything that makes him uncomfortable, that makes his body feel not right. It’s easy to imagine my daughter’s stoicism outside the presence of close family, but it’s hard to imagine she’d keep it together in my presence, where she’d probably screech through tears.

Yet I still have trouble seeing the advantages of crying. Here’s where I’ve landed: if someone touches my children in a way that invades them, I don’t want them to cry. I’d rather my son draw from his well of passionate umbrage, for my daughter to channel all of her demanding outrage, for them both to let loose a howl that shakes floorboards and windows, that draws the world’s attention. Then I’d want them to breathe fire that would burn away any confusion, that would smote anyone who would impose his will on the body of a child.

At least that’s what I wish I could have done. I still wish I could do it now.

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